Ticket .....

Today was a special day. I got my first ever traffic violation ticket in India! Sounds absurd? It is! I have been driving for the past 16 years now… and I have been caught by the traffic cops a few times during this while in India. But I have always managed to get out without a ticket. Today was different. I chose to get a ticket 

It so happened that I was in a hurry to get to Bandra from Goregaon and it was 7.40 am so I was firing on all cylinders. At a signal, I took a left thinking there was a free left and there wasn’t and there were cops ready to pounce on ignorant souls like myself and I was trapped. I argued with this sloppily dressed kaka - it was not even a mama (kaka is slang for a cop in khaki colored uniform and mama is slang for a traffic cop in white :D don’t ask me why… that’s how it goes around here) so I tried telling him that there was no sign saying it wasn’t a free left and his only explanation was that there were other vehicles waiting so that meant there wasn’t a free left. Give me a break man… how absurd can it get. No explanation of mine helped. He asked for my license and I gave it to him. Then he asked for insurance and registration and to his utter shock I had valid ones (thank god I remembered to carry them along) and the cat had caught his tongue. So he asked another “mama” to write the ticket and I thought of trying to weasel out of it by offering to settle it without one but I somehow resisted. I don’t know why but I did. Probably the voter in me had woken up against corruption or whatever but I let him do his job. I did not stop arguing with the main guy though coz I could not accept his logic.
Well all this while I was on the defensive and he was on top, enjoying every moment of it so to speak. I decided to play offense. I removed my cell and looked at his lapel for a name tag. There was none. So I politely asked him his name. Now 11 times out of 10, people like to flaunt their names especially in situations where you are the king. This time was not one of those. This guy went mad. “Why? Why do you want my name? Who do you think you are? I won’t give my name. You do whatever you want… call whosoever you want?” OMG! The transformation was 180 degrees. I was the man on top and this guy went on the back foot like there was no tomorrow. I had never intended to complain nor did I know any soul in Bombay who had the remotest influence. It had been those spur of the moment reactions and I had hit jackpot. Wooohoooooo …. I loved it. All the anger, tension, worry of getting to my destination was forgotten. I was not rude now was I swearing that he could do anything about it. His subordinates came to his rescue and tried to explain to me that I was wrong and I had broken the signal. I wasn’t thinking about that. I just wanted to know this guy’s name and he did not want to give it. Hehehe… in my mind I was ROTFLMAO and I was enjoying it. So whilst it had started with me being the culprit, it ended the opposite. I took my ticket, still telling him that if he was so very correct then he shouldn’t be frightened to give his name. he tried saying something in Marathi but I was upto it. I replied back to him in Marathi and he couldn’t say nothing. Take that you corrupt swine … I wanted to say (the swine flu news is responsible for my choice of swear) I resisted as I had to be at my 5* destination asap. So I took my 15 day ticket to break as many signals I liked without having to worry about losing my license, left my original license with them (I would need to pay the fine at the nearby chowki and collect it in the next 3 days else I would need to go to the traffic police main branch in Worli) and left.

All in all it was a very bad start to my day. I slept at 2 am, was woken up by my aunt asking to me to meet her at 6.30 and was caught for taking a free left (I still protest) and my license was impounded but I had managed to ruffle a crooked cops feathers, tail, branches – you name it. And the irony of all of this is that this is my first ticket in my 16 years of driving in India. The only other ticket I have got was in the US so I managed to achieve something unique today.

Sleep comes. So I bid adieu  Hope to get back my license tomorrow with least possible fine. Will update on the amount ;)
Ciao.
~KK